Breath, Justice, PTSD, and Wellness

Breath.

It is the most fundamental necessity to sustain life.

Without breath flowing in and out of our lungs continuously, we die.

As a massage therapist, breath is one of the most basic ways I begin to attune myself with my clients.  When I see that they are holding their breath, I may coach them to take a nice big gulp of fresh air.

By the same token, when I see that my client is taking a nice deep breath on his or her own, it lets me know that they are taking it in, that they are letting it out, and that they are there with me, experiencing the work.

As for myself, I notice that I am nearly constantly holding my breath, both in and outside of the massage room.

For me to take a full diaphragmatic breath without effort is very rare.

I have been deepening my meditation practice and asking for insights into what is causing this phenomenon, but I have a sneaking suspicion I know what it is:

PTSD.

As a sensitive person, an empath, and a "healer", I most definitely notice that certain events whether personal or more collective will have an impact on my energy field, my spirit, my psyche, as well as in my breath.

Having spent my formative years in a violent household, I know that my system may never recover a fully neutral neurological state.   And for that reason, events outside of my personal realm may have a more acute impact on my system than they do on others.

All this to say, I believe that we here in the United States of America, we citizens who populate this land, who share a common history, whose roots were uprooted and re-rooted here, we who call this land home, we who are known globally simply as, "Americans", I believe we are all suffering a form of PTSD.

As a nation, we are currently more known for the violence within our police departments and the recently released Torture Report than we are for any other actions done in the name of "Democracy". 

If you pay attention even just a little bit, you will have heard the names Oscar Grant, Trayvon Martin, you will have heard of Mike Brown, of Eric Garner.  You will have heard of Newtown, of Columbine, of Andy Lopez.

You will have heard of Monsanto, of Chevron, of Wounded Knee.  You will have heard of Martin Luther King, JR., and you will have heard of Exxon Mobile.

Our national story is riddled with bullet holes, environmental destruction, racism, violence, broken treaties, and genocide.

So back to the breath.    Mine, yours, ours.

When you hear of a school shooting, what is the first thing you do?  When anything remotely shocking happens, what is that we do?

We take a deep, sharp inhalation.  Typically we hold it in for a minute and our eyes might dart around a little bit while our brows are furrowed.

Now granted, this doesn't mean you have PTSD!  It just means you heard something shocking and took a deep breath.  But -- where does it go from there?  How do we process the shock?  How do you?  How do I? 

For myself, the day the courts allowed the cop who killed Eric Garner to walk free, I began to have a pretty hard time breathing.

It came right on the heels of the cop who killed Mike Brown being allowed to walk free as well, with Ferguson still burning, and I felt the walls closing in on my spirit.

How could this be happening?

Eric Garner wasn't doing anything criminal whatsoever.  A cop came up to him, put him in an illegal choke hold, strangled him to death in public, and walked away without even getting a trial.

My community has been out on the streets, blockading traffic, shutting down public transportation, protesting the Department of Justice, chanting and holding signs to let it be known that this was not ok. 

Eric Garner couldn't breathe.

He died telling the world he couldn't breathe and now we are left, breathing, yes, but -- how well?

Today, as the year comes to an end, and the reality of events in your personal life and/or those of our world would ask of you to hold your breath, do yourself, and all of us here in our bodies, a favor, and try to take a nice, deep breath.

The meme, "#icantbreathe" is sweeping social media globally, and it is an apt way to honor the tragedy of Garner's death and the state of our nation. 

How you respond to the racial tensions in our country is up to you.  I know for myself I am actively seeking ways I can be a better white ally.

But, maybe, when you allow the breath to come fully into your body and to release it fully out, just that one act, the most basic fundamental necessity for life, bringing yourself into harmony within your own body, will allow you to be more capable to respond to life's events with more grounding, with more oxygen and grace.  Do it for Eric.  Do it for Trayvon.  Do it for your own children.  Breathe fully so that you can be a fully embodied human being, awake, alive, paying attention, and responding appropriately to the events of your day.

Meditation practice is one of the best ways I know of to not only deepen the breath, but also to just calm the mind.  To bring stillness into a typically very busy freeway of thought is a radical action unto itself! 

I wish a Happy New Year to all and may we bring healing and higher vibrations both for ourselves and all our relations.........one breath at a time.....